sybafairy

25 November 2009 @ 10:50 am

T-Minus 7 days and counting..............

So the '30' is almost upon me.. been pondering things recently. You know all those 'things i want to do before i am 30' ...things i havent done. Where my life is going and what i have done in the last ten years, lessons learnt, or not learnt in the majority of cases.
Have wacked this under a cut as i am sure most people dont want to read my petty ramblings...

Anyway
( Boring Ponderings of Life )

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02 November 2009 @ 02:29 pm

Worried

So my mother phones me yesterday.. we have a very strained relationship anyway.. i was incredibly hungover..

First thing she says is 'dont panic'.. never a good sign.. she has had a mamogram (sp) and they have found a lump.. she has been biopsied and gets the results a week wednesday. FUCK....

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31 October 2009 @ 03:52 pm

Bleh

I am now really angry i havent sorted a costume out for this evening.. i really should have spent more time, but since the original idea went out of the window, i sulked and didnt bother.. damnit

Havent even managed to get a pumpkin.. fell asleep again on the sofa at 11am and havent really moved since.. i wish the students who walk down the road in the middle of the night wouldnt sing stupidly loudly and out of tune.. At about 5am go woken again by screaming woman being chased by a bodybuilder-related asian guy.. god i love Leicester

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30 October 2009 @ 08:39 pm

Halloween

I am excited for Halloween, although having a brain freeze evening so this is short and sweet.

Found the Swear boots i want. 159.99 (not telling the boy), sold my other ones so can justify them, and may never be able to get hold of them again in my size.

The boy wants to go to Redeemer tommorow.. so we are.. there are a few people going who i loathe and really dont want to see, or have to converse with, so i shall be dragging the party to Synthetica at some point with any luck.

I made pizza bread.. <3

This is all

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28 October 2009 @ 09:57 am

Contemplations

Well i havent updated in a few weeks, been busy contemplating my life and having small epiphanies..

1) I am going to be 30.. nothing i can do about this, so it must be dealt with. I am actually quite scared, more of the actual number than anything. I am still as childish and reckless as ever so not sure that is going to change. I have thought about clearing out my wardrobe of all my cyber related goodies and go shop in BHS but i decided that was me being slightly melodramatic and that it is actually me that needs to do some growing up, not my wardrobe! My thoughts of late have been so disjointed that it is like putting a puzzle together, but i think i have all the sides done now, it is just for the awkward middle.

2) My mother is a shitehawk.. i have come to the conclusion now that it is definetly about time to do something about it. I have spent the best part of 15 years keeping my mouth shut to this woman so i didnt upset her but no more. She messed me up in so many ways.. When i was 18 i found out my stepdad wasnt my father like i had been lead to believe. They had been married since i was four so i suspected nothing, until i got a student loans form and on the back it had 'father unknown'.. so for 18 years i had spent wondering why this man hated me so much and fighting for his love, when i should have never bothered at all.. he is a c*nt anyway so i was happy about this.. but this sent me spiralling out of control for about 3-4 years as i was utterly clueless as to who i was and where i came from. It is hard enough being in your teens let alone doing this.. the mother said when i was 16 she had got me drunk and told me.. yeah ok mum.. getting your minor daughter drunk and confessing all is great parenting.. did you bother to check if i remembered????.. this is our fundamental issue. My mum's argument when i lost the plot at her... well your grandparents wanted to have you apopted as i would be a single mum!!! WTF.. i left for uni and since then we have seen eachother less and less over the years. Actually almost omitting the major fact that when i was 20 i ended up pregnant.. apparently this was NOT going to happen.. mum packed a bag, drove to london and she dragged me about clinics until we she found somewhere to well you know... i was a mess.. and now everytime i see her she cries at me and apologises.. i had no say in this, i was fucked up from the father issue, my nan dying and the pregnancy so just went along with it.. so mum i said none of this matters.. but it DOES, you need to fucking know now.. and oh by god will you.... and your smarmy, lying, poisonous new husband (who is actually younger than me) is gonna be told all about himself.. Christmas is going to be fun this year.. time to clean out the closet...

3) Boything is enjoying his degress course.. which is about time for him finding something practical and useful for his musical skills. He is very talented, but also has a small attention span, hence the ability to hold down any job that doesnt involve tradework is low in his world. He makes a great labourer/brickie/ceiling putter upper as he was doing for a few years, as it is like a puzzle for him to complete, but when that dried up.. office work a-no-no.. :( But now he is loving it, you can see the pick up in his eyes from being challenged about the things he loves to do.. yay for boything

4) Still no job - give me a job you bastards

5) Royal Mail can suck donkey balls... i mean comon how many strikes do you need to prove you have a bigger penis than 'the man'? I am waiting on really important information in the post, i needed it like yesterday, and application forms for jobs!! It isnt fair to inconvience an entire nation (on top of losing so much anyway) because you need 10p more in your pay packet, or to stop them employing temp staff.... oh comon at christmas anyone that works for royal mail thinks you dont need temp staff?? You have issues enough getting normal post through on a normal day let alone at christmas.. unions are great, until they unleash hell on the UK!

6) Psyclon Nine.. about the only thing rocking my world right now.. so off to listen to more!

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25 September 2009 @ 05:05 pm

Dentists and Dooooom

Actually i had technically nothing to fear... the dentist i went to see was great! I cant believe i spent so long fearing them (ie i havent been to a dentist for 15 years!! - last time i went i was 13/4)
She took out my poorly tooth.. well gave me the option of a root canal but it would have to be done on 3 seperate occasions (ie 3 visits yow).. or an extraction. I went for the extraction (it was the far right back molar, so no one can see it and i probably wont notice its gone), i can live without one tooth or get an implanted one at some point when i have more funds. The idea of root canals still fills me with dread!
Anyhoo, off she went, didnt feel any injections, nothing at all.. she was great! The tooth however didnt want to come out and it took 20mins of poking, pulling, pushing and prodding.. apparently i have really deep set roots (man!) about 5mm more than usual.. she was only 5 foot nothing and skinny as a rake aswell so practically ended up sitting on top of me by the end trying to get it out. Was quite amusing, but no pain felt at all :) Yay!!
For not having been to the dentist for 15 years aswell she said my teeth were great and strong, and there was no sign of any infection or decay in any of the other ones either.. was just that badly cracked one from a few years ago! Hooray +1!!
Still have to get my wisdoms done at some point as one is impacting a little, but she said the pain i felt probably was just the poorly tooth and had nothing at all to do with the wisdoms, its just where the nerves travel.
I am so glad i went and she was so lovely to me!!

Boything got an earbashing when i got in aswell.. he couldnt be arsed to get up and come with me, and i came home to a house full of people on Xbox.. 'Hi dear, i have a bloody swab in my mouth that looks like a tampon, a cheek to rival Alvin and the Chipmunks and i am in massive amounts of pain.. do i look like i want to spend the rest of the day with people in my fucking house'... was the general gist.. so they have all gone now! Hooray +2

Have downloaded Brazil aswell, the film from 1985, because to this day i still havent watched it.. supposidly quite good.. so going to watch people 'wasting ministry time and paper' and eat spicy tomato and lentil soup... noms!

Although i am ignoring all advise which is not to smoke for 24 hours.... i cant drink alchimahol for the next week because of the antibiotics but damn love you aint taking my fags!!

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24 September 2009 @ 11:12 pm

Pain

Oh my good god.. i dont even know what to do about this pain anymore.. went to the doctors begging for more painkillers, got some crappy Codeine which isnt doing anything other than making me feel vile and sick, and something else which now they have told me not to take again after ringing NHS direct and being told i was probably having a reaction to them.. couldnt breathe properly, had chills and had gone all cold..

To be fair i doubt there is anything that is going to shift this pain, even my hardcore painkillers arent even scratching the surface.. one of my wisdom teeth has now popped through off the side, cut my gum and ripped it open... i hope when i ring at 9am tommorow i can get an appointment or i am screwed! I reacon i need 3 teeth pulled.. i dont care if they take my whole mouth off now.. if i knew anything about dentistry i probably would have ripped them out myself....

All i want to do is cry but it is pain beyond the point of tears.. not sure if anyone understands that but by god, i thought it was bad last night, that was a walk in the park compared to this... :(

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17 September 2009 @ 10:50 pm

In a world of ineptitude!

Pretty much a ranty vent post this so feel free to pass it by ;)

1) Fucking working tax credits.... good god i hate these bastards.. said they posted the letter i need to send to the JSA on Friday last week.. utterly refuse to accept that it hasnt arrived and therefore wont reissue yet. I NEED this letter guys... i have been signed on for 5 weeks, have no money, am not recieving money from you at WTC and not recieving money from JSA due to your ineptitude.. get it the fuck together this is peoples lives you are messing with!!

2) Havent sorted Housing Benefit out because of above said arseholes not sorting themselves out. What is the point of having to resubmit everything to Housing Benefit when i get a new JSA letter? get it together government retards or i may start a single handed revolution involving petrol doused tomato bombs.. and cats strapped with C4..

3) Expensive shoes i bought from eBay labelled a size 6 apparently.. sent to me.. size 5 what a shocker.. can people not read shoe size labels.. it said size 6 '5'times in said auction.. ??? Said seller now not responding.. funny that

4) New bunch of cockends moved in next door who apparently can only exist when the house is full of screaming 17 year old girls.. or who feel the need to play PS3 or Xbox at 5am, blasting grenades off, waking me up thinking it is the apocalypse.. oh you will be sorry

5) What the merry c*nt is going on with the mail?? It is taking 7 working days to get first class to me atm.. and 4 days this week we didnt even have post, just a lump this morning dated from back last week! No strikes in Leicester, just bone idle posties.. saw one peeing down next doors alleyway the other day.. would have said something if the issues above werent prevalant *snigger*

6) I am going to make some new funky spearmint, baby blue and white roving to cheer myself up.. so that be that

7) The boy is ok and not pissing me off currently.. minor miracles have been known to happen and he bought me a magnum.. +1 the Boy

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05 September 2009 @ 12:14 pm

Reading, Rain and Radiohead

So Reading festival was fun.. full of 17 year old indie scensters, but bah was a festival so i didnt care! I am not really even into the music scene that Reading is morphing into i mean comon The Arctic Monkeys?? A few blokes with bad hair that can barely pull a note between them if not in the studio.. but we did see a few bands over the weekend that were good. Placebo <3.. fantastic!, Deftones were great too.. Kings of Leon worth it for bouncing about to.. and Radiohead... they are once again rocking my little world now! The show was fantastic and they played everything i wanted bar Fake Plastic Trees.. they played Weird Fishes off In Rainbows which is one of my favourite songs so that was all good... Mr loved it being Thom Yorke's personal penis worshipper :) All good!
Reading is an institution for us these days, been for about 6 years now, but i am sad it is moving away from the heavier lineups it used to have, to the indie shite now being spewed out all over the place! Basically find 4 guys, give them a guitar, chuck them a 2 album deal.. when thats over throw them away and grab the next notalent guys in jeans too tight for them. Bah

Jobcentre finally sorted out my jobseekers.. and yes i get.. wait for it.. £18.22 a week!! WTF! I phoned them and apparently i have other income coming in.. actually mate no i dont.. i had my final pay of £1081 which has gone on 2 months rent (so we keep this bloody roof).. so now i have just over £300 including my overdraft.. Nicky shall once more be waging some beaurocratic war on Monday morning.. bloody government agency people!

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14 August 2009 @ 08:09 pm

Boredom Strikes

God being unemployed is so damn boring.. i have got myself in an awful sleep pattern of not getting up until 11am or so, well i mean not even waking up til then.. i set an alarm for 8.30 today and remember getting up, turning it off, thinking 5 more mins and then it was 11 :/

No jobs out there and have a jobcentre interview on monday :(.. pretty sure they will say 'you were fired, f off'.. even though it is total unfair dismissal :(

On the upside 2 weeks and i will be bopping about off my tits at reading.. well thats is the tickets come through and considering recent luck :/... gah not even going to say it

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11 August 2009 @ 02:47 pm

Its all in the shitter...

Signed on.. rubbish
Got the letter today, had nothing about 'gross misconduct'.. woman at the jobseekers claim thing thought it was shifty too.. not much can be done
Cant be arsed
Am skint until 28th and bored with nothing to do.. LOTR trilogy even looks tempting
Going to have to sell loads of clothes i love
Hate Life
This is all

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09 August 2009 @ 12:43 pm

Angry Angry Angry!!

So i go in for my one to one with my manager on Friday. The area manager that hates me with a blinding passion because i actually ask questions about things she tells me to do is there...

Basically in a nutshell i am given 4 weeks notice and told to leave immediately! I havent hit the targets she has set for 3 months, which to be fair no one else has either. I was on a permenant contract and in the 11th month which i have found means total and utter bullshit to anyone.. she followed no disciplinary procedure, i recieved no warnings in the time i was there, and had a clean file. Apparently one month later it would have been unfair dismissal due to lack of procedure followed, but by law you can only file that after 1 years service.. i mean WTF.. it is either unfair or it isnt. So this woman knew EXACTLY about this and did this entirely on purpose due to that fact. I started 7th sept 2008, so if she had sat in on the next one it would have been one years service.. she spent the best part of 45 minutes trying to talk me in circles so i stick a foot in it. I however am not that stupid, so she just sat smirking at me.

I dont see how she can in anyway call this gross misconduct, as this is the only reason you can give for a dismissal like that, but i am sure she will find someway to do this... will mean they wont give me any bloody benefit for 26 weeks if she does that aswell! I think it purely was to get rid of me because she didnt like me.. she likes yes men who do everything without question, and people that kiss her ass.. not me love sorry. I cant stand people that demand respect from you who dont give it in return.. comon i am nearly 30, far too old for menopausal bullshit... if i thought something was a little off i would ask about it

When i had suspected swine flu i rang her at 12.00pm after speaking to the doctor who said go home and quarantine immediately.. she took 4 hours to get back to me, ignored about 5 phonecalls, then said she was in a meeting.. i spoke to 3 people who had spoken to her inbetween this. Her argument 'you didnt sound ill'.. i had a temp of over 100 and ached from head to foot, but obviously a phonecall can tell her if i am sick or not...

So company procedure and statute law mean fucking nothing until you have 12 months service!! So before then your contract is bullshit

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01 August 2009 @ 08:54 am

Lost in Translation

Well life seems to be taking funny turns lately.. I spent a good deal of time at work yesterday 2 hours at least dealing with a client who spoke no english at all, and only some random asian dialect no one in the company spoke :/.. my conversation ended up in picture drawings with ticks for yes and crosses for no.. i mean comon.. how do you expect to buy a house/get a mortgage etc etc dealing with people who dont speak the language in a country that doesnt speak the language you do?... i palmed him off on the mortgage advisor in the end.. it was a lost cause. According to the Leicester office's manager, it is a language only spoken in northern India and even then it is very localised... fun times!

It is the Caribbean carnival today... woop woop!! I fully intend to fill my boots with jerk chicken, red stripe and bad dancing! It was fun last year but i was skint so i intend to make the most of my not so anorexic bank account this year!
For once i actually have things on for the next 4 weekends.. its nice to have plans!.. But i still dont have many friends in this city and it is making me increasingly sad :(
I have the ladies i know that go to the local ebm night, but then really they are mostly 18-25, and the ladies i work with, but then they are work friends, and i am sure they dont even consider what i do or who i am outside of work. They are lovely all the same!

Apparently some client winged about my nosering this week too, so now i have to take that out at work. I cant even put a silver stud in apprently! I have to have a clear retainer or take it out. This pisses me off... we have over 10 asian staff in the branches throughout Leicester who dont have to take theirs out due to i guess being asian and their faith.. so how can anyone complain about mine? Surely that is discrimination because i am not asian?.. this shit really winds me up... i mean fuck sake my nosering doesnt sit at home everynight plotting the demise of someone's house sale, and has no relevance to how well i do my work :/. In such a multicultural city as Leicester how can someone be so small minded about a piece of jewelery!.. i am angry.. but i need a paycheck :(

The OH bought Reading tickets now aswell.. £550!!! off ebay.. i am not even fussed about going.. the lineup is shit and i am 100% sure we are going to get rained on this year too.. it is all about Radiohead playing and his total cock worship of Thom Yorke. Totally overrated band in my opinion.. i understand their pull, and appreciate some of the music, but it has always been music to run a bath and slit your wrists to! His sisters mate is going aswell though, and she is a riot so that saves this a little.. but still not thrilled!!

But Carnival............ yay!!

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18 July 2009 @ 12:10 pm

Always look on the brightside of life!

Well NIN was ten tonnes of awesomeness!... i however got totally wrecked and got told off by security for dancing in the aisle.. other than that it was great! Was such a random setlist, and as it will be the last NIN tour in the UK ever (ok ok heard that before..) i will never hear Ruiner live :( waaah.. 3 gigs and still Mr Reznor hasnt tempted me with that one.. gutted. But he played Wish again yay..

Gary fucking Numan duet on Cars was utterly amazing!........ and cover of Bowie's 'I'm Afraid of Americans' rocked aswell So pleased we went in the end!

Lost my mobile phone behind my seat and forgot to pick it up afterwards, so i know it was there. Phoned the O2 and told them where it was and what seat, they said clean up crew handed in no phones, called mobile company and some blatant knob had run all the free credit out calling international numbers... so some bastard had found it :(.. had it for 4 years, lost all my photos and videos and loads of peoples numbers i dont see anymore. My own drunken fault i guess, but still i look on the brightside of humanity.. not fookin anymore! Pikey bastards..

Got sent home from work the next day from being knackered.. said i felt sick.. and looked like death, so no one clocked and that was a sleepy afternoon bonus!..

Yay for the weekend..but boo to womanly chores

Have also discovered that my arse is slowly travelling south! Lack of walking to work and no stairs is taking its toll on my tush! I dont want saggy granny buttocks so something must be done.. oh yes!

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15 July 2009 @ 09:25 am

NIN

Nine Inch Nails at the O2 tonight.. hooray!
Ended up finding some really cheap tix on eBay, so me and my friend are off to adore the Reznor.. and Janes Addiction! Never watched them so pretty excited about them too!

If i dont come back it is because he has finally realised i am the missing piece to his life.. otherwise will get back at 3am and have to be up at 7! Bleh... but all more than totally worth it :)

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07 July 2009 @ 04:20 pm

Work bores me!

At work and terribly bored! Luck would have it though i am in the office completely alone so it is a more relaxed afternoon, bar the four horsemen of the apocalypse riding through on the back of a thunderstorm a few moments ago!

Had a time off life over the last few weeks and it has done me the world of good, found a few things in my brain that were severly crippling my mental capacity for anything. One of the things actually involved my mother and it was only a conversation with a friend that alerted me to how little time i have given to coping or dealing with that situation. Me and my mother have a strained relationship, due to many factors, 1 being she never told me my step dad wasnt my real father until i was 19! So i spent a good proportion of my childhood wondering why the man i tried to impress couldnt give two shits about me, but my sister was adored! .. that is sorted and compartmentalised in my brain now though and doesnt relate to the other and most real issue... i have decided it is about time i actually told her what was going on in my brain about this, how she pushed me into something i didnt want to do and generally totally abused her position of power over me financially and emotionally. I havent spoken about this before, only when she mentioned it, and then she has cried and i have been like 'its ok it doesnt matter'.. to spare her feelings! About time i actually told this woman, 'no it wasnt ok, it wont be ok, and i havent forgiven you.. my sanity > than hers!

Other than that, the boything is away again and taken the laptop, leaving me in tinternet limbo again! Wanted to go visit him this weekend in Edinburgh when he is working away but £114 return train trip for a day is mahoosively ridiculous, so another weekend of dreading up some pink kk and watching old horror movies.. i like my days to myself :)

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21 June 2009 @ 08:38 pm

Detox time!

Ok so this week has brought massive revelation to me, that my brain is really in a totally mashed up and messy place!

I kind of knew this sometime ago but have totally ignored the fact and tried to pass it by.. be it getting older and facing those milestones of birthdays (30 wont be far off), or generally not thinking before i act i dont know..

So.. as of today i am tea total, drug free and generally getting back onto the eating healthy and spending time with myself. I have quite an obsessive addictive personality, and i obsess badly over things, times, arrangements..
I have been drinking obsessively recently.. i cant have 1 drink, i have to have 20 and make an arse of myself and call in sick to work.. if i have no alcohol i dont have to have any.. but i cant stop at one.. i have also been taking far too much illegal produce aswell, totally fucking with my wavelengths and sprouting my paranoia that also gets added to my obsessiveness..
Something happened this week that i am just not going into but it spawned 3 hours of crying, being described as 'mental', calling in sick to work, lying to people about what it was about and being totally blanked :/ It was not good, and not something i am proud of.. and now feel like an utter and total moron.

I need to put down the internet a bit more and start living in the real world some, reading some books i always planned to and getting back into cooking and creativity!.. generally finding myself again.. i do feel hideously lost. I have put on weight through the booze and then general bad eating.. this needs to be rectified

I am considering starting a class in the evening in something.. i am no autonomous friends here in Leicester, they are all mutual friends of my boyfriend too, feel like i am piggybacking on his life currently.. i need to get out and meet some people, to have someone i could talk to would be a marvel! Anything i discuss would just become public here, and not kept in confidence if it involved him :/

Its a lonely world here for me, but i am the only one that can change this, so change it must be!

Fingers crossed!

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12 June 2009 @ 08:56 am

Hangovers and Toothache :/

Ok well i sunk my battleship last night, and actually even though i am horrendously hungover it did me the world of good!

Havent got any viewings or trips out of the office today, well not diaryed in yet so yippee.. a day sat at my desk :) The sun is out too which seems to be a rareity in Leicester at the moment!

Went down to see my friend last night at the bar she works at, much vino was consumed. Found her her Staff terrier has fallen down the stairs and is now paralysed on all four legs, he cant walk at all. The vet hasnt put him down yet because they want to see if when the swelling on the spinal cord goes down if he regains some movement.. bless him he is such a good dog aswell :(. They want to MRI scan him but quoted her £1000!! I mean wtf.. we need to somehow get him transferred to the PDSA or her usual vets because he is out in Castle Donnington at the moment at an emergency centre... took an age to get him there with the Download traffic aswell :( He had a fit a few weeks back, but we thought it was due to pesticide as the neighbours had been spraying their garden. I hope he pulls through :(

I woke up to horrendous toothache.. i mean toothache of death.. it seems to have subsided now, but am worried it is going to come back and rape my gums.. i dont have a dentist either, and i am sure it is going to come back Saturday night so i have to wait until Monday to go and pay someone a fortune to fix :( My manager is off today (AGAIN.. i am sure this woman never actually works) so i cant even see if i can get it fixed now.

I am now bored of this dreads issue.. cant even be bothered replying anymore.. let her think what she thinks, i'll think what i think and if i ever meet her will poke her with a stick.. other than that fuck it, too much energy wasted already!

Need to regain sometime to make dreads.. my 12 hours a day 6 days a week isnt good for me at the moment. Apparently this is what i have to do to justify my job in this housing market.. ok i have outperformed everyone in this office and 3 of the other offices, so i think when i asked for a payrise last year and got it that should be enough.. now because i am on more money than a lot of people i have to justify this even more, even though i am the only person to have sold any houses in the last month, and i have sold two.. sometimes i wish they would make me redundant :/.. i cant afford to just quit, but now Johnny is back doing his shopfitting and is on the best part of £30k again i could afford to leave..... but lose my autonamy and financial indepedance.. hard decision.. but i hate my area manager :(

but.. yay sun

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11 June 2009 @ 05:04 pm

Grrr ARghhh

God forbid i ever meet some people in the flesh.. i am reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling that some chick sends me crap dreads, i have to pay someone else to fix them, ignores my messages for a refund and THEN starts spouting i am some liar on forums!!.. and that i have somehow ripped someone else off by not forwarding on a package that was misdirected to me in the first place!! (which i did actually forward on anyway...)... ugh Royal Mail is utterly useless.. so this is now missing (but obviously i never even posted it or some shit).. and 2 things are missing to me :(

*slow deep breaths*

Not much work has been done this hour now.. much smoking and some coffee though... god i need anger management

Sorry mini vent so i didnt take it out on an unsuspecting bus driver :/

Other half manthing is working away again this weekend.......... mesolonely.... actually not, i plan to get disastrously drunk and ponder the ponderables

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06 June 2009 @ 09:01 pm

(no subject)

So i am sat in on a Saturday night.. woo, fucking hoo! Well my own fault really i did have the option to go to the pub, but went last night and sunk my battleship so decided to sit in. Cant believe Big Brother has started again, i detest this programme, i mean seriously whats the point? Its a pointless programme, full of pointless people...... just found it while hopping, although there does appear to be a guy on there that looks like the asian version of teen wolf, which did make me smile!

So the other half came back on Friday gone and has been here a week, things have been generally good actually, not so paranoid about his nutjob of a friend anymore. Hoping things may be on the up again, at least he is working and the emphasis has been taken off me to be the sole breadwinner! Still i have subbed his half of this months rent, and now it only being June 6th and i dont get paid until June 28 i am going to have to rely on working tax credit payment next week to get me through.. £200 to last 2 weeks, feeding 3 cats, myself, getting £20 a week bus passes to get me to the arse end of nowhere to do a job i am hating more and more... etc doesnt seem like much in the way of fun :(. But i guess i can make it work somehow.. will just have to cut back on my salad boxes for lunch :( booooo

I am mightily displeased at Southern Bastard Electric aswell.. the first three months we were here we got an electric bill from British Gas for £140, which seemed about fair to me.. this time the bill has come in after changing companies and is £323!!! I mean WTF.. we lived in a flat no bigger than this with the same electric products, nothing has changed and we were on a prepayment meter putting mo more than £10 on a week.. now they reacon it is over £100 a month! Get the fuck away.. this has to be soooo wrong.. they reacon it is based on a meter reading too.. must be a wrong meter or something :/.. couldnt be bothered to get into a raging debate about this today so will leave it until monday or someting.. someone tell me this is untrue!!

I have put on 7lbs of weight over the last month aswell.. i NEED to stop eating so many bags of crisps and crappy takeaways.. but getting up at 7.15am to travel 1.5 hours to work, and then getting back at 7 or so at night is killing me.. i just graze allday and then eat the first easy thing i find :( dont even have the energy to exercise now.. i used to walk a mile and back to work everyday, now i sit on my ass on a bus, really need to get walking somewhere again!! Need to get out of that habit and back onto my 5 a day and lots of healthy things!

Bleh tired and want to go to bed, but waaaay to early to slam down on a Saturday yet!

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